dance dance

dont know what to do
i have you
but dont
i love you
but cant
but do
hmmm
confusing it will be to most
but you and i we understand
what its like to be us
i went from sad to happy today
all in the blink of an eye
because you did something so sweet
you asked me out on a date
to a dance
not for romance
too have fun and be free
no one ever has been so special
no one has ever treated me so well
it was a shock i must admit
but i could never turn you down
you made my day
turned it around
made me feel so loved
no one has ever done that to me
before
thank you
you wonderful girl
it is amazing
i cant wait to see you there
and dance with you

anonymous poem

You’re my light, my guideWithout you by my sideI’d be just another nameless bodyI’m cursed to be nobody
Can’t touch you but I can scream“I won’t be happy with another human been”Because you’re the reason whyI live for and sometimes I want to flyBecause when I stare at the night skyI think of you and I start to cryWhy can’t you see, my clumsy angel?Why don’t you love me?
Only you can make me smileJust hold me tightly for a whileLet us be like this foreverThe worst turned now better
Find me a reason to still love youWorship you, dreams that never came trueOnly you can fight my fearsOnly the moon can wipe my tearsOnly you still make me breathingBut it’s hard to pain for livingWhy can’t you see, my clumsy angel?Why don’t you love me?
All these flowers fadedFor a thousand years I’ve waitedFor you to love meWorship me, please let us be
You make my heart still beatAlthough it’s tired of being weakTo surrender to your sweet eyesI see the world in them and how birds flyHow flowers grow, how angels flowUntil one of them fellWith broken wings, in a cellWhy can’t you see, my clumsy angel?Will you ever love me?

*anonymous poem*

this was not written by me.

deep?

some one said that i was deep. could that be possible. maybe im just a fuck up and thats why it seems like that. i care too fucking much about every fucking thing. i make myself so depressed that i dont want to live. but i cant help it. i cant control it. and no one understands i hate being me when all i feel is misery. and no one seems to really give a shit
i am alone in this world and it seems i wont ever have anyone. my heart has been through so kmuch pain already. and im fuckin up otherr peoples lives. they dont need to bother with how i feel. i know i could never have them i have always known that why i love tham anyone i just cant understand i really think somethings wrong with me. a grown man should not cry especially at all the things that i dream about. i am a loser here on earth with a message to the youth love is wonderful but can be too much. its how i ended up fucking up. so dont end up just like me with everyone who loves you wont ever really love you. its all a lie its all a dream and this cant be reality i can no longer fight this war for love . i must remain doormant and reclusive and hide from everyone. because if i try to explain myself no one will understand i am a fool just like you. with no one to hold my hand.

tired

im tired of falling for people that i can never have.
i cant put up with this shit any more
it makes me feel so bad
it seems as if all i do is fall for the girl i can never have
why does life toy with me so
im almost about to let it go
people care and people dream
but my dreams apparently dont care about me
i never have seemed to make it better
i just get worse and worrse
sicker and sicker
life pisses me off when i get this way
i feel like im stupid
theres no reason behind it
why do i chase something that i cant see and probably isnt even there
its seems that the ones who actually care dont ever want to be with me
i always end up with the ones who treat me like shit
i guess no one will ever understand what its like to be me
i try to explain myself but they dont listen carefully
i end up making them confused
then they call me stupid
they ask me why i put myself through things like this
and i cant find an answer why
i really am sick of this
these times when im behind
i tell people i love them
but they dont look in my eyes
and if they did they would see that when i say i love you i mean it
but it almost as if noone cares cuz i want the ones who do care
and i feel like im bothering them with my problems
like they dont have any of their own
maybe i am selfish
maybe im alone
so alone in fact that i make up fantasies
about the people that would never be with me
and that makes me feel so sick
i cant stand this pain
it really sucks dick
i fall for my bestfriends because they give a shit about me
but none of them ever want me they only see me as a friend
and then im devastated
and im right back at the end
then i have to work my way up and im tired of that
it seems this world is so fucked up that i cant live in it
but i cannot kill myself for that would just be wrong
but i cant stand this pain in life
especially when its for nothing
when i get hurt by someone i knew wouldnt be with me in the first place
no one ever really see's that side of me i hold deep
i try to show it but they dont get it
so i hide it away
one day soon
i hope she will find me
cuz im tired of living my life in misery
i just wish somebody would understand what i go through
and my plans
but no one ever takes the time to see how nice i am
they all think im a loser
but thats ok
i know im stupid
i do stupid shit for stupid reasons then i put myself down
but no one ever makes me feel special
atleast not in this town
all i ask is to be loved and to love them back
i could give them everything that they ever ask
but it doesnt seem this life wants me to love
anyone ever again

bee! bff!

Bee! Bff! It is understandable That your parents do suck ass Although they love you oh so much It doesn’t change the past They’ve given you so much shit For oh so many years Now its time for you to grow So just close your ears. You deserve everything This world has to offer You might not see it But I swear too you it’s true The birds in the sky are singing And there singing just for you There song is sweet and mellow As it finds its way to your heart A message is what they are leaving you And this is how it starts. Girl please don’t feel ashamed You’ve never done anything wrong You have always followed your heart And that’s why we sing this song The world we give to you Take it and have fun The people in your life right now Are for sure the ones They care for you More than you could know And save you all the time They’re there for you when you need them too And gone when told to stay behind Not everyone has friends like these You need to let them shine You’re lucky that you have them here If they weren’t, would you be fine? They’ve helped you out so many times And you have done the same That’s the reason yall are so close Closer than close as close can be Tell us that you see it Know what you’ll become And In the end you will choose right That’s how you’ll find your one Then you will be happy And everyone will see That life treats you in certain ways So that you will be All that you needed If the need was there The person to come too For a good love repair A woman of amazing grace Who floats on wings of satin and lace A girl who makes everyone happy And entered this world as a beauty Charismatic defines you well Upfront and free is your ringing bell You won’t let life pass you bye And those close to you past your life You care about them as much as they do you That’s why yall are so perfectly cool And in this life none will be as close As the guy and the girl that you chose To be lovers and best friends The kind that never ever ends The ones who make you feel the best Even better than the rest You love them with all your heart And wish for them to never part As long as you show them the love that you feel Spinning and spinning will go your wheel Never to stop ever ever again And that is why they are your best friends Unconditional love is what you seek but it has been there since you were fifteen You didn’t see it just because You were the one who was growing up Now your older smarter wiser Prettier wittier and so much brighter You grew up very well indeed You are yourself Not anyone else And when someone judges you You tell them to go fuck themselves You are the girl that Grew into a woman We saw it right in front of our eyes The transition was beautiful The process was meaningful The outcome was an amazing surprise You are now the lovely girl Who I have known for years I never new you cared for me But now it’s coming clear You would do anything for me As well as I for you And we are closer to each other Than we ever knew Now it is apparent and I can see right through The angel deep inside your soul From which you grew into I can’t believe I didn’t know How wonderful you’d become But im glad I had the priveledge To watch it all get done Now were both adults And things are not the same But they did not go south at all Some things get better with age We both understand ourselves More than anyone, anywhere else Our bond is interesting as fuck I don’t believe that it was luck We were meant to meet in life To learn and grow and love and fight Best friends and lovers till the end I love you Ally Bee Never will my love for you ever, ever end.

forever

Forever I’ll remember
The things you’ve done to me
Of all the days ive had you
You’ve shown me so many things
Some were right and others weren’t
But that is not the point
The only thing that matters is
We recognize our worth
Some have said we are beautiful
And others said we aren’t
But those who know us
Know were true
And that is were it starts
because
in these days of hypocracy
I believe in everything
Living is to be free
And you I know are meant for me
One day soon you will see
Just how perfect we would be.
And in the end it will all be right
Cuz you’ll be there next to me.




ja

prophecy

prophecy


It couldn’t be any better
Any other way
This is for a reason
There is nothing else to say
We were brought together
Because we had to be
This is the way it is supposed to work
But its still not guaranteed
We were given the questions
And it seems we asked them well
The answers have led us to the moon
And all the way down to hell
Our journey is not over yet, Nor will it be soon
The only question left to ask
Is that all right with you?

ja

crazy times for crazy days with crazy people

crazy days with your bestfriend
couldn't be better never again
always free and always fun
it seems somebody found their love.
in a place were few could reach
it was there that they would meet
and ever since it has been great
two wonderful people
with no reason to hate.
other wish they had the same
then they see its not a game
only those who are kind at heart
will recieve these kinds of starts.

little life

little life
little life
little little little life

in this world people are what people do
what people say about you
doesn't matter
only think for yourself
to make this world better.

say what you feel
and mean what you say
dont let them hurt you
its the only way they can win

if it brings you down
use it for good
use it to help others
who might feel the same

then one day
youll be remembered
by everyone you ever touched
and thats a feeling of accomplishment
if ive ever seen one.

wings over high

what would i do without you
how would i live through the pain
when life gets tough and its hard to bare
who will show me the way.

i know i have you,
forever
i know i have you,
always
i know i have you,
in my dreams
i know i have you,
right next to me.

the way you speak to me
lifts me up
you make me feel good inside
like nobody else

your are the one
the woman of my dreams.
an angel
with harmony.

you know who you are
please dont thank me

best friends are great to roll with.

oh what a day, what a day. its been amazing. i got to spend the whole night bonding with my bestfriend, bee, she's so wonderful. life shows you people to help you learn and i have definately learned alot from her. thank you bee for being everything i could ever ask, your alot more wonderful than you know. muah!

cant control a god damn thing.

feel so helpless these days.not really sure where im headed as of now. things have been hard and interesting and i have been stupid. i iwsh i had more answers, i wish i had more questions. i wish life would cut me a break sometimes. it like never recedes always some sort of problem. i spite the world sometimes, when i cant figure out why its telling me to do things that just hurt me. pain a lovely four letter word that describes just were i am at right now. i am tired of pain, its lost its allure, now it just sucks. it sucks to hurt. the worst feeling in the world is probably knowe ing that you love someone that will never love you back. hearts are horrible things to break
ans once it has broken its hard to fix. mines been broken so many times that i believe my heart to now be made of shatter proof glass, but that also means my heart doesnt function properly. i long and i long and i long for something special something unique. its been forever since ive had an actual good relationship. another thing that sux, the people who care dont care like that and the ones who dont care dont care so it seems like were stuck. i am sooooooo ready to just drop to my knees ask for forgivness and give up. i have almost lost faith in love. theres too much drama. love is a real thing, but maybe theres too much of it inside me. an excess of love. ha could that be possible. anyways its just like im sick and tired of giving my heart to all these people only to have it trampled every single time. all i have ever asked is that i can give love to someone and have them love me back. actual love. someone who truly cares. some one who gives a shit. i have felt alone for sometime now. i have felt alone since forever, since i left, i guess. the last time i was stripped of everything i hold dear, when i lost every friend i had every lover iever had. lost all the people that knew me then and there. no there gone and all they have is memories a couple photo's but there gone. theres no going back to that now. i always feel alone, like no one understands me. i feel so confused and lost all the time, when im sittin at home by myself all i do is watch tv and smoke pot until i fall asleep, then i wake up and deal with the drama of life. thats probably why ive ben sleeping all day recently and going out at night
because at night there are less things to deal with. why god has given me this life im not quite sure, but i have a hunch. what i am doing with this life, is yet to be seen. kind of in a stand still as of now. no progress, no nothing. stand still nothing getting worse, but nothings getting better. i dont get it either. its like the one things i ask to get out of life is love but life never seems to give me anything like that. i always get the girl that needs me more than i need them, but no one can see how needy i am. i need a girl that makes me feel important, but not overly nice. i really do need help with this life, and i will eventually find the person who is too show me which ways to go. lead me on my path. just when. life is hard and it sucks but if you stick it out you will come out ahead, but it seems ive been sticking it out for a long time. and nothing seems to have changed. i wish i had some answers, or i wish some were delivered to me. one day an angel will be granted me. i just wish for it to be sooner rather than later.one day some one will see me for who i really am and theyll embrace that and love that. but i guess until then im stuck loving all that doesnt love all that loves and everything in between. untill someone saves me from myself and my self destructive ways. love is all i need. but when its needed most its gone. alone and lost is were i am somewhere in the hills of life, i wish i had a map, i have to go by the north star now, and thats not an easy thing to do. grant me the serenity, grant me the ability, grant me the wisdom. give me love.

the one you cant have

why do you always fall for the one you cant have. why does life have to toy with you, why do you have to play games. hurting is all that erupts from this and the pain is so much more. what if there your best friend. so you take that and hold it, mold it and then you want something more. friends always do make the best lovers. but there are alot of risky things that could happen should the chance arise that your friend wants to hook up, will your relationship be the same before and after the breakup.is it worth it to have the chance to love this person once or have the chance to be their friend for a lifetime. i guess it depends on the people. and then sometime the people that would make the total best couples only want to be friends and couldnt possibly allow themselves to do anything sexual with these people.love is a mystery, life is a mystery, pain is a mystery. why we feel is a question no one can answer accept the higher power, whomever that might be. attraction is probably one of mans greatest abilities, and when that attraction stems into a full blown relationship you have som e of the best worst wonderful horrible times of you life, and the whole time your thinking i wouldnt want to be anywhere but here.